I want to share something that has been sitting heavily with me, because it speaks to a much bigger problem than just one situation. For the past while, I’ve been caring for a young neurodivergent girl who has fallen through more cracks than I can count. Like so many
Almost four years ago, when I began reaching out to parents through my writing, one article found its way to someone who needed support for his own children. We started talking, quietly at first, about learning, about schools, about what happens when the system doesn’t quite fit the child
A Facebook memory popped up the morning we received my son’s matric results. A photo from fifteen years ago, taken on his first day of Grade 1. Same boy. Same face. A very different moment. The timing felt almost pointed. By the time that photo was taken, we already
There’s a particular stretch of time between Christmas Eve and New Year’s where the calendar gives up. You wake up unsure what day it is. Breakfast turns into snacks. Bedtimes drift. Everyone’s a little fried, but no one wants to admit it because we’re supposed to
If you have a daughter who walks through the front door after school and immediately dissolves into tears, or shuts herself in her room, or clings to you without knowing why — you’re not imagining it. This is one of the clearest patterns in autistic and ADHD girls. They don’
By Nicola Killops There is a quiet crisis in South Africa: gifted children falling through the cracks because so few people truly understand what giftedness looks like. We tend to imagine giftedness as perfect grades and calm confidence. We picture a child who intuitively excels at everything. Meanwhile, real gifted
Every few months, someone warns of the “tidal wave of neurodiverse diagnoses” — as if we’ve all caught ADHD like the flu. The implication is that difference has become fashionable, that acronyms are the new accessories. Relax. The wave didn’t arrive. We finally turned around and faced the ocean.
by Kate La Trobe MSc, BCBA and Nicola Killops, Educator and Gifted & Twice-Exceptional Specialist We were those kids: bright, talkative, imaginative, distracted. The ones teachers described as “full of potential if they’d just apply themselves.” We did apply ourselves — just not to what made sense to other people’
For as long as I can remember, I’ve carried the label too sensitive. Too emotional. Too reactive. Too quick to take things personally. And for just as long, I believed it. If you grew up neurodivergent — or simply different in how you think, feel, or move through the world
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Parents whisper it like a confession: “He’s a bit different.” “She’s… quirky.” “We don’t want to label her.” And I always think, you’re not protecting her from the label — you’re protecting yourself from the truth. Because the truth is more complicated. It means admitting the
Social cues are tricky things. Most people don’t even notice they’re reading them — a glance, a shift of tone, the twitch of an eyebrow. But for many children on the spectrum — whether that’s autism, ADHD, giftedness, or the complicated mix of twice-exceptionality — those little signals are more
Two months from now, my son will walk out of school for the last time. I should feel light, relieved, ready to exhale. Instead, I’m burnt out. Not in the ordinary sense, but in the way that comes from years of treading water — never drowning, but never allowed to
Remember the excitement of turning 17? For many of us, that learner’s license was our first taste of freedom. Learning to drive in the ‘90s was a rite of passage — slightly terrifying, yes, especially with minibus taxis treating lanes as suggestions — but still something we looked forward to. We
Let’s talk about something that trips up even the most switched-on parents (and I say that with total empathy, because I’ve been there too). When we see our kids responding to the world with intense emotions, deep questions, and what feels like a turbo-charged imagination, it’s easy
There’s a particular kind of heartbreak that many parents of twice-exceptional (2E) children know too well. Not the heartbreak of diagnosis. Not even the behaviour reports, suspensions, or the relentless “parent meetings.” It’s the moment you realise that the school system—mainstream, remedial, holistic, even the ones that
This isn’t a tips-and-tricks post. It’s a soft landing. If exam time is a battlefield in your house — doors slamming, heads dropping, shame creeping in — you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. Some kids genuinely can’t do the “just study” thing. Not because they don’
This wasn’t something I planned to build. It grew out of evenings with students who had the ideas — but couldn’t get them down. It grew out of watching my own child struggle to show what he knew in a system that couldn’t hold the way his brain
He was six when his Grade 1 teacher told me, “He’s just so arrogant.” She didn’t say it to be cruel — in fact, I think she meant well. It was said with a kind of frustrated affection, like she couldn’t quite figure him out. He corrected her
By Nicola Killops It doesn’t always start with a perfect report card. In fact, it rarely does. It starts with the child who feels everything. The one who couldn’t tolerate tags in their clothes as a toddler. Who noticed when you changed shampoo. Who melted down in noisy
For too long, intelligence has been boxed into rigid definitions—reading speed, written output, memory recall under pressure. But what if those measures don’t capture the true depth of a person’s mind? What if someone thinks faster than the tools designed to express it? I’ve spent years
Ever had a conversation with a teenager who blurts out whatever’s in their head—before their brain even has a chance to weigh in? Or watched them make a split-second decision that leaves you questioning whether they have any self-preservation instincts at all? If you’re parenting a teen
